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just as ponderous, not as rude

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May 19.2003

How long will this stay open?? Lets see if we can start afresh…

IxxI

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14 Comments(s) ↴

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@NevermoreMay 19.2003 — OK.
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@khakiMay 20.2003 — [COLOR=crimson][SIZE=3]COUNT ME[/SIZE] [SIZE=4]IN ![/SIZE][/COLOR]
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@web-eagleMay 20.2003 — All right, so I’m the self-appointed content provider. We need a page defining the various types of organizational philosophies.

[b]Socialism[/b] – You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

[b]Communism[/b] – You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk.

[b]Feudalism[/b] – You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

[b]Fascism[/b] – You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

[b]Totalitarianism[/b] – You have two cows. The government takes them both and denies they ever existed and drafts you into the army. Milk is banned.

[b]Bureaucracy[/b] – You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain.

[b]Corporate[/b] – You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows, then act surprised when it drops dead.

[b]Democratism[/b] – You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow which was a gift from your government.

[b]Capitalism[/b] – You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

[b]Enron Venture Capitalism[/b] – You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of all six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
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@AdamGundryMay 20.2003 — I'm in, though not doing much because of imminent GCSEs. Here's some more cows:

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You worship them.

Adam
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@web-eagleMay 20.2003 — AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch. [/quote]

I knew there was a reason I liked these people!!!
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@KaisaMay 20.2003 — [i]Originally posted by IxxI [/i]

[B]How long will this stay open?? Lets see if we can start afresh...



IxxI [/B][/QUOTE] lxxl your on the IFX Unlimited Webspace hosting fourm also aren't you ?
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@JonaMay 20.2003 — [b][font=arial][color=maroon]lol, that's funny guys. Let's see how long this post [i]does[/i] stay open! lol[/color][/font][/b]

P.S. Yeah, I mainly posted to subscribe to the thread... But it's more fun to at least say something than just click a few links and get an email every time someone replies. ?
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@havikMay 21.2003 — The idea of posting once to subscribe to the forum intrigues me, I'll try this :d

A Canadian Corporation

You have two cows. One is French and wants separation from the other cow.

Havik
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@IxxIauthorMay 21.2003 — [i]Originally posted by Kaisa [/i]

[B]lxxl your on the IFX Unlimited Webspace hosting fourm also aren't you ? [/B][/QUOTE]

Nope, sorry. Should I be?? ?

IxxI
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@DaveSWMay 21.2003 — Hey guys/gals - I've just noticed you can click on the number of replies in each forum to see who has replied. These are the ponderous ones LOL. No wonder Jona's got millions of posts!! Playing when he should be revising!!

Jona 95

khaki 77

jdavia 66

lora_3677 57

IxxI 48

AdamGundry 32

havik 30

Chopper WeeD 17

web-eagle 9

cijori 8

Code One 5

Dark Dragon 4

pyro 2

DaveSW 1

Compguy Pete 1

Geat 1

lavalamp 1


I'm not even going to try and work out what an Irish corporation does, but:

Welsh Corporation: You have two cows. You think they're unusually large sheep, so you complain about GM crops in your area.
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@lora_3677May 21.2003 — are we going to go any further with the RWP or is everyone to the point i am and overwhelmed with the summer activiites.

i have summer fever!! i'm planting a garden, flowers, cutting grass (ok, one time, but still it counts!!), and next week i'm off work to build a deck for the pool. if anyone would like to stop by and help, please FEEL FREE!!!

cows..... i have about 45 cows. real ones, that moooooooo. lol. we also have twin calves that are adorable!! and a bull named Tabasco, because he is a red Limousine (that could be misspelled...). anyway, i think if you asked the cows, the would just say 'FORGET IT! We're leaving and striking out on our own endeavor. We will no longer be held hostage to slave for any country. We SAW the mcdonald's commercial and we miss Betsy!!!'. ha ha.
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@JonaMay 21.2003 — [b][font=arial][color=maroon]I'll bet the cows love Chick-Fil-A![/color][/font][/b]
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@khakiMay 21.2003 — hmmm...

bovine humor.

this has gone beyond ponderous ?

? k
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@pyroMay 22.2003 — Off topic threads are now only allowed from Friday afternoon until Sunday evening. http://forums.webdeveloper.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=9968 This thread will now be locked.
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